| For a change of pace, I have decided to go off the beaten path. Bruce Freedman of Woburn, MA wrote a very delightful poem, which I'm featuring this month. (A few minor changes have been made from the original handwritten version.) He has been a regular player at the New England area Hearts Tournaments for many years. Bruce is a very strong competitor, and an outstanding defender- especially against Moonshots.
The poem below may be sung to the tune "You Gotta Have Heart" from the musical "Damn Yankees."
YOU GOTTA HATE HEARTS
Bruce Freedman
You gotta play Hearts,
Where the points are like darts,
It's a horrible crime,
To take the Queen each time
And then it starts
You really hate Hearts.
You get so annoyed
The pass messed up your void.
And now the Queen you just got,
On the pass shows you're not
Totally paranoid
You're just totally destroyed.
Then you try to shoot
But the cards don't distribute.
So instead of staying alive,
You eat twenty-five!
Another "puppy" shoot
And another stinking suit!
And another stinking suit!
You have no precious twos.
Your language is becoming obscene,
You just "woofed" the Queen.
Oh, what's the use?
All you do is lose.
Always use your smarts
If your points go off the charts.
The other scores may be high,
You think you might squeeze by
And then the crap starts
You gotta hate Hearts.
Thanks, Bruce!
Next month, I will resume the strategy and technique columns with a dissertation on placing the Spade Queen on the low player. | |
